My Hero

2009. It was a girls night. My friend and I had stayed at our friends house, and we had gotten our pj's on and got into bed for the night, but of course, stayed up and chattered to one another. She was talking about something, and I wasn't paying any attention-not that I was trying to be rude, but something greater had caught my focus. A more serious matter, indeed. I drifted into the unknown...as I lay my head back unto my pillow and dreamily gazed out the window into the night, tracing the stars with my eyes. God was speaking to me, trying to tell me something. But instead of listening, I just rained down questions upon the air, questions of worry and telling him my heart was empty and all I could feel was misery and I felt alone and afraid. He finally silenced me, gently of course. Next came a peaceful moment. I listened intently, curiously. The voice was soft, and it offered hope, and so I grasped it with all my might without second thought. It was so simple!! There was a small part of me, that bothered me. This whole time I was expecting something else, you know, maybe a difficult riddle of some sort...something I just wouldn't be able to grasp, but no. Tears filled my eyes. I was so overwhelmed with happiness!! My friend was alarmed when she looked over, finding me with tears streaming down my face and still smiling from ear to ear! "What happened?!" She exclaimed with confusion in her eyes. I answered, in between sobs..."He asked me to accept his love, as a gift..." My friend grinned, pulled me over and squeezed me hard. We woke up the woman that had invited  us over for the night soon after, to tell her what had happened! I was showered with more hugs from the sleepy lady.
    Ever since then, I had a deep guilty conscience...when I did the things I did on a daily basis, I began to question them. Little did I know the holy spirit was within me, trying to guide me, but I was still stubborn and a little clueless of what I needed to do. My knowledge was small, and I didn't know how to react to my thoughts or actions. Satan enjoyed entertaining me and pulling me viciously away from the safety of Gods arms.I know now where I have gone wrong. When I accepted Gods love that night, I didn't fully submit my will to him. As time went by, I began to realize that my life sucked. It really did. I was losing all my friends, I dated so many guys, and I was doing things out of momentary desire! I was being spoon fed by the devil. My happiness was withering away, and I started to hate myself...my special days, where I found God, those were my happy days. And then one day, I finally understood! Following Satan's ways, hurt me and caused me pain and misery...but being close to God, made me feel safe, and completely happy. Why couldn't I just choose? Well. We were born in sinful nature. Sin is desirable in so many ways-and easy to get your hands on! But...the "good" moments are short lived, like drinking and sex and drugs. Being on Gods side, truly is the best decision you will ever make. No one said it would be easy, but the fight is sooo worth the blood and sweat! Living for yourself is hard. But living for another, is quite satisfying. God offers true long-term happiness, and a wonderfully designed plan! He made promises, too. Here are a few.

Promises of God
-"For I know the plans I have you for you, " says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11)
-"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in the heart, and you will find rest for your souls." (Mathew 11:28-29)
-Romans 8:37-39
-"But all who listen to me will live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm." (Proverbs 1:33)
-"I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid." (John 14:27)


When you accept the love of God, you must also submit yourself, your will and your entire life. You will be filled with the holy spirit and a desire to live for God, your King. I submitted my whole self to Him a few months back, and I have never regretted that choice. On my death bed, I shall shed tears of joy, for living for such a wondrous God, and because I have completed my task he asked me to do. I know in my heart, when I close my eyes for the last time...I will wake up in his presence. I love him greatly, because he died for me when he did not have to. He is my hero, my Savior, who provides for me everything I need and more. He is my light in darkness.