(NOTES) taken from the novel I Kissed Dating Goodbye-Joshua Harris -Book Review-
Chapter Four- 5 Important "new attitudes" that help break negative habits
1. Every relationship is an opportunity to model Christs love:
*Be honest and sincere to guys, and treat them as your brothers not potential boyfriends
*Instead of being the center of the universe, focus on ways to bless others!
* "the world will know we follow Christ by the way we love others.."
* Practice love the way God defines it- '...sincere, servant-hearted, and selfless-not selfish and sensual love based on what feels good.'
2. My unmarried years are a gift from God:
* View singleness as a gift
* Be content with friendships
* Being single gives you flexibility, freedom and focus that you need when growing
* Also; "freedom to explore, study and tackle the world. No other time in your life will offer these chances"
3. I don't need to pursue a romantic relationship before I am ready for a marriage:
* "The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment."
* "God has made us with a desire for intimacy, and He intends to fulfill it." ...we need to understand He doesn't just give us the desires so that we suffer, but yet to be patient and have that patience and commitment rewarded, as his gift to you and your husband."
* In the meantime of being single, God wants us to seek close relationships with our family, and both our female and male friends.
* Dating a person without marriage in mind is selfish and harmful to you both. God chooses who you are to marry, he knows you the best and 100% better than you know yourself. How? Well...you know, he is your CREATOR, and your KING. Is that a good enough reason? He's also your father, so he knows what's best for each one of his children.
4. I cannot "own" someone outside of marriage:
* "In Gods eyes, too married people become one."
* "...we have no right to treat anyone as if he or she belongs to us, until we commit our lives in marriage."
* When you are in a serious relationship, it only stunts both individuals growth, and consumes energy and wastes our gifts God had given us for a more suitable time.
5. I will avoid situations that could compromise the purity of my body or mind:
* "Where, when, and with whom you choose to spend your time with reveals your true commitment to purity. Do not place yourself in settings that encourage temptation, because it's hard to fight."
"God fashioned life: this life leaves no room for pettiness, insecurity, wasted time, or selfishness."
It has no room for poor habits. Changing your attitude about better dating may sound like the most difficult thing out there because it's so common and its such an everyday habit you've grown accustomed too. But its actually HIGHLY possible. Especially from the help of a God, and I guarantee you'l be calling him your hero when he's finished with you. He will gladly rescue you from a life full of sorrow and grief...the worlds way of dating. "No matter how deeply ingrained your attitudes might be." God has the power to help you, gladly.
" He did not say, 'If you love me, you will feel warm, cascading sensations of religious emotion." Instead he told us, "If you love me, you will always obey what I command" (John 14:15).
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